The loop of longing for all the red flags
Have you ever want to feel something so badly and the only things that evoke strong feeling in you are surprisingly all the “red flags” that you should be running away from.
Repeatedly putting yourself in the same situation, unknowingly going back and forth with all the same sort of people. And the funny part in all this is that you’re probably the only one that doesn’t see the warning lights going off because all that you can see are the intense appeal and attraction of it- only the red flags can satisfied your insatiable cravings for it.
The things that keeps you coming back for more is the silent questioning in your mind all the time about his intention. The unspeakable thrill you get from going back and forth trying to guess his true feelings about you. The hidden message behind his actions — analyzing the meaning behind his texts “what does that emoji at the end of the sentences meant”.
You secretly love the suspense when you received random surprise texts from that “someone” that can change your mood in an instance. His sudden “disappearance” that can keep you up all night wandering where he drop off to and the exhilarating happiness when he gets on your radar again.
The strong feeling you feel when he shower you with just that bit of attention and kindness. Even when he offer you that simple laughter or smile it was more than enough to brighten up your day. People around you don’t understand or get this feeling and happiness you are feeling because to them that’s a given.
It’s only because this pull of the unknown is what you are familiar with and that’s the kind of love you have known your whole life. The kind you have to fight for, the one that keep you on your toes at all time. The “red flags territory” of suspense, mystery and guessing is the only thing that can make you feel something.
It’s nothing to feel shameful about, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to love and feelings. You gotta go for what makes you feel deeply even if the rest of the world fail to understand it the way you do.
